Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
