he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
