I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
