Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
how does that bad decision feel?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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