Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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