K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
