DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
