yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
