Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
