Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
