i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
