Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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