She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
