Im at strip club and am horny
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
