Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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