I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Sext me about skeletons
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Just puked most of my soul out..
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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