My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
