i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
