just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
