Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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