I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
