Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
