OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
