The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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