Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
There's always time for handjobs
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
