Christians are straight up FREAKS
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
