i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
