perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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