How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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