i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
