You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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