Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
3 2 1 whiskey
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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