Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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