How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
