there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
