Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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