That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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