She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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