maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
