ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
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I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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