Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
it hurts more in the daytime
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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