This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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