dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
