Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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