If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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