I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
