as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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