OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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