We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
