wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
