his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
