The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
