try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
