It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
